A Queer Revue!

Here's a cool press release about my new night happening this Friday...



The demolition of Legends is still mourned by Manchester’s LGBT community, the closing of Essential marked the last gay superclub in the city, and Kraak, home to a host of LGBT nights, has shut up shop. But sometimes in Manchester the answer as to where to put on a party can be right under your nose.

A Queer Revue! is an experimental venture mixing club DJs with a range of cabaret style performances that will take place on October 2nd at Band On The Wall. Over two centuries old, Band On The Wall began life as The George & Dragon Pub before becoming a renowned music venue in the 1930s and undergoing the change that made its Mancunian nickname official.

A Queer Revue! is the newest night to make a home there, brainchild of DJ, promoter and creative, Greg Thorpe, co-founder of Drunk At Vogue (you may have seen them launch the last two Manchester International Festivals) and resident/promoter at Off The Hook (City Life’s ‘Best Gay Night’ 2013).

‘I’ve always admired how the Vauxhall Tavern in London is integral to the identity of Duckie. It’s possible this is the first official LGBT party at Band On The Wall, but drag acts like Diamond Lil and Neville St Claire were regular performers there in the late 1950s, and that history of showgirls and servicemen, all that rowdy entertainment fits so nicely into queer history. I like that it’s in the Northern Quarter, but also on the edge of the city – that’s a very queer thing too,’ says Greg.

‘Once you’ve played at the MIF Theatre you don’t want to go backwards and at Band On The Wall we won’t have to. We have a historic venue at our disposal that includes terrific light, stage and backstage facilities that will give performers chance to shine, plus the DJs will love the soundsystem.’

The first line-up for A Queer Revue! combines three of the city’s favourite LGBT parties from the Queer Alt Manchester collective:

Bollox has been on the scene for a decade, thriving on indomitable spirit, loyal punters and eclectic playlists, and they throw in dressing up boxes, fledgling drag queens, bring-and-buy sales and more into the mix. DJ Rod Connolly and Bollox drag hostess Lill will both perform at A Queer Revue!

Cha Cha Boudoir is home to drag queen collective, The Family Gorgeous. Once a month at the Boudoir, Cheddar Gorgeous, Anna Phylactic and their troupe of queens satirise and pay homage to popular culture with their radical drag competition. DJ Danny Olsson-Lane and artiste Anna Phylactic will represent Cha Cha at A Queer Revue! with thrilling dance support from Tom Kuzniar.

Off The Hook is the long-running queer party playing hip-hop and RnB to a loyal crowd. At A Queer Revue! Greg will take the decks, with specially-commissioned dances from gifted choreographer Joshua Hubbard and the amazing Yandass from FlexN, who recently took MIF by storm.

Plus, in the beautiful adjoining Picturehouse Bar, queer short films will play on the giant screen while writer Adam ‘Beyoncé’ Lowe will be on hand performing as ‘The Telephone Poet’. A Queer Revue! will be hosted by a different guest compere each time and for the first party that duty falls to Salford’s finest drag powerhouse, Joyce D’Vision.

Greg says, ‘I like to think about the word ’Queer’ in both its old and new meanings. I like the sense of oddity and intrigue it has, and of course it’s a way for people to identify themselves on the LGBT+ spectrum. It’s a versatile and passionate word, I want people to be less afraid of it. The word ‘revue’ opens the night to all kinds of performance. In future I’d like comedy to sit alongside pop, burlesque with hip-hop, I want to make ‘vaudeville disco’ a thing…’

A Queer Revue! at Band On The Wall

Friday 2^nd October, 10pm till 3am

Tickets £6: http://bandonthewall.org/events/4846/

25 Swan Street, Manchester M4 5JZ, Tel: 0161 832 1111 www.bandonthewall.org

The Projects

You can probably tell from my output that my pursuits are pretty varied – this blog, that blog, Off The Hook, Drunk At Vogue, The Queer Forum, writing, and the rest of my freelance work which I love and which pays the rent. The number of things I have on the go at any one time is a bit dizzying, and there are a few reasons for that: I’m interested in lots of things. Too many things really. I’m trying to find out what I’m good at and I want to be good at everything. I don’t want to miss out on anything. 

When I turned 30 I’d been working in an office for eight years, in a profession I enjoyed but which I knew by that point didn’t entirely suit me. I applied for lots of jobs in London that I didn’t get, and I started to panic a bit. I decided if I was going to stay in my job then I needed something outside of it to keep me going, so I set myself little tasks, the first of which was to start a blog, this blog, which I started in April 2008. I had no readers of course, and not always much of an idea what to write about but I immediately felt better about things. Later that year I was invited to play my first DJ gig, and so that became the second thing on my informal list of 'things to try'.

As time went on I added things to the list in order to push myself, to stay inspired, to find my limits and to fight complacency and boredom. I’ve done some big things that were never on the list, like becoming a freelancer, which brings ambitions and aims all of its own. After six months of freelancing I felt great, even if money was difficult in my tricky start-up year. Soon after that I reached my half-life anniversary in Manchester and took the opportunity to take stock.  

I’ve been freelancing for a year now and it’s been a challenge and an adventure, but the list of ‘things to try’ still exists, needling me to get on with it. That’s what I’m going to do. I have formalised the list as ‘The Projects’, and as with my New Year’s Resolutions, if I go public with something I feel twice as motivated to get it done. 

Here are all eleven of ‘The Projects’ as they currently stand, with little summaries for the ones I have achieved. I am genuinely holding myself to these and I am not adding anything new until this lot is done, or at least attempted. Something amazing might come out of this, or nothing at all, but the feeling of having tried is really the best feeling.

1.     Start a blog

Blogs were everywhere in 2008 but were becoming a bit passé so I didn’t think I would stick with this thing for long, but seven years later, here we are. I’ve met some of Manchester’s finest people through writing this blog, people who I would otherwise have no reason or nerve to talk to. I’ve had 270,000 page visits to date, messages from around the world, a few hundred quid made, free tickets for wonderful events when I couldn’t afford them myself, but mainly a bit of dialogue with the world, which is what I have always wanted.

2.     Be a DJ

Being a DJ was somebody else’s idea for me to begin with but once I start something I have to see it through, and DJing proved to be the perfect activity for someone like me, who likes a party but is also shy. I love it. DJ culture I can do without and I’m not really a part of that. It’s a bit macho and competitive for me. People will always use music to be cool, no matter what age they are. I think people are sometimes surprised that I’m a DJ because of how uncool I am and I’m glad! I wanted to be good at it though and I’ve really tried. I’ve been profiled in the Manchester Evening News and Attitude, I’ve played at Festival No. 6, Manchester International Festival, HomoElectric, GAZE Film Festival, Northern Quarter Festival, Homotopia, Vogue Fabrics, Islington Mill, Clique, Bollox and more. I’ve never played a recorded set in my life and I never would. Club promotion itself I can do without, and if it wasn’t for the chore of that I would be DJing much more often. I’ve had so many special moments DJing that I think only other DJs would understand. Even if I stopped tomorrow, those would be the moments that made me feel like I really did it.

3.     Start a clubnight

The first Off The Hook at Kitsch was one of my favourite ever nights out in Manchester, and the only Off The Hook that I didn’t DJ at. I was a resident from the second party onwards and I took over the night when the original promoters had shelved it. I gave it a re-brand and a new venue and a year later it won the City Life award for ‘Best Gay Night’. If I’d been kind to myself I could’ve ticked this one off the list then and there but I wanted my very own baby. Enter Drunk At Vogue. I’d daydreamed about the night for a couple of years, had even pitched it somewhere and had it knocked back, and then shelved it. It eventually came to life as the collaboration you see today. I have learned a lot from collaborating, that it’s very hard to do, but that it has loads of benefits, that your baby will never ever turn out like you think, but that you’ll love it anyway. Drunk At Vogue started in November 2011. Then we had our first birthday, then a few months later we threw the launch party for the Manchester International Festival. I am very glad I didn’t tick number 2 off the list too soon.

4.     Get a Masters

I wasn’t done studying, I wanted to read more books, I wanted to finish writing a novel, a proper one this time, with supervision and a deadline, and I wanted to do something subversive and uncool with the money I was making from DJing. So I did an MA. It had been on my list way before these set of circumstances arrived, and to be honest I thought that I would go and study Shakespeare at Masters Level. I had ducked out of that very option when I was 21, despite getting my place at Manchester and my funding from the Academy. Instead I went to the Writing School at MMU when I was in my thirties and wrote a novel about Shakespearean culture. I got a Distinction for it. I had my graduation party with my family and friends in the baking sunshine on Albert Square at the MIF Pavilion. I was so happy. I learned a lot. I met great people and read some magnificent books. The course is good, go and do it. Number 4, you are done.

5.     Get paid to write

A hundred years ago I filed some album reviews for The Big Issue the week before they laid off most of their Northern freelancers and disappeared off down south. The cheque I got for that work (£36 if I recall) was the most satisfying money I‘d ever earned. I got the bug but my timing was terrible and it took me a long while to get back here. Being paid to write, in an era where anyone with a keyboard is a writer, is validation, for better or worse. Writing is a profession that people not only invite you to do for free, but often expect it, in some cases demand it. I have had dozens of people over the years discover my blog and approach me to write for them. Often when I enquire about a fee they become unpleasant. Often I am told that I will be paid in 'exposure' for my blog. ‘But you found me,’ I always say to them. ‘I am exposed.’ I never write for those people. If somebody gives you a fee it is professional, respectful, honest, and yes, it's validation, and it’s a validation that comes tenfold when it is the thing you love doing most. Don’t take your writers for granted, and writers: try not to work for free.

6.     Write a novel

This is the one... I have written a very short and very bad novella about a temp who wins the Lottery and goes on an insane odyssey with the girl who lives downstairs. I have written a longer and slightly better novel about five gay men whose lives intersect in a weird post-modern way around the lonely vacuous world of Canal Street and a desolate Manchester city centre. I have written a longer and much better novel about digging up Shakespeare’s bones and the effect it has on a world obsessed with him. Trying to write a novel is one of the great sorrows and frustrations of my life. I can’t explain why I even like it. Every other activity in the world disrupts and distracts from fiction. So many good ideas and great lines vanish into the ether if you aren’t able to give them your full attention. Being a novelist is time-consuming and tiring and wonderful. It deserves my full attention. My novel needs a damn good third draft and my intention is to give it my all and let my other ambitions slide by the wayside until this is done. I want it published. This Project should be entitled, ‘Publish a novel’. This is the point at which a jack of all trades has to try and be the master of one. Of all the things on The Projects list, if I don’t see this novel through I will die disappointed in myself. Do you hear me?

7.     Try stand-up comedy

This is where it gets scary. And this is as far as I’ve got with the list. Kind of five-and-a-half down, five-and-a-half to go I suppose. None of these are pipe dreams though. I have already signed up to workshop some stand-up material this coming Saturday. I have never done anything like this before. I think I am a bit funny, and I have done lots of public speaking, but the two have rarely crossed paths. But I love stand up and I am going to try it for myself. I’m terrified. What am I doing? Stay tuned.

And here is the rest of the list. So no biggies, huh…?

8.     Write and stage a play

9.     Curate an exhibition

10.   Be an artist

11.   Find some work outside Manchester

 See you on the other side...

Don't miss your moment

I promised myself a blog post to take stock of the first six months of my freelancing adventure, and I can’t believe it’s already here. That means 2014 is half finished everyone. I’ve been self-employed since January, and after thirteen years of full-time office life, time seems to pass in a different way these days. I still get up early and try to keep at least half my weekends work-free to stay in sync with Oisín (who is, incidentally, eight months into his first office job), but I don’t miss the the nine to five one bit, and a week is a unit of time that no longer means much at all.

As for the work itself, I’m pretty sure it couldn’t have gone better if I’d been able to mastermind it all in advance. One of the good reasons I haven’t written here for a while is that my writing has been going elsewhere, and to some lovely places too. I contributed to the new Library Live site (and I can’t wait to put on an event there). I’ve been taken on as kind of writer in residence for the jewel in Salford’s crown, Islington Mill, which I’ve turned into a monthly column for one of my favourite sites, Creative Tourist. I’m hoping to get stuck into other cultural coverage for them soon. I haven’t let go of my old publishing skills just yet; I still produce book cover artwork from time to time and I’ve gotten heavily stuck into copyediting books too (ask me anything about the poet Charles Olson or Irish migration in the nineteenth century, ask me!). On top of that, I’ll soon be working on not one, not two, but three exciting art projects for three of Manchester’s finest cultural institutions, about which I am very excited and will reveal more soon.

Over in clubland, Off The Hook is going stronger than ever. Anthony Crank is back beside me on the decks and our new hostess Wan’gu Chafuwa is bringing life-giving performances, being divine, and generally spreading pizzazz wherever she goes. Our next party is tomorrow night (Saturday 21^st), so come over and get down, it’s never less than brilliant fun. Here’s what we sound like, if you need persuading. Meanwhile at Drunk At Vogue we are gearing up for a Summer of Love, involving our annual boat party, annual Pride party, and our now-annual appearance at Festival No. 6 (okay, this will be our second in a row). I’ve had no time to hunt for other DJ gigs so I was extra glad to be invited to play at a bit of a star-studded do, namely the launch night party for artist Ryan Gander’s exhibition at Manchester Art Gallery. The party is at Gorilla and the other DJs are Miranda Sawyer, PINS and Mike Joyce from The Smiths. Crazy.

The main pleasure I get out of this mixed bag is that there’s no such thing as a typical day and there’s no time to be bored. If I get too stir-crazy at my desk (it’s easy enough to do when your office is a quarter of your home) I can be cycling or jogging along the Mersey in two minutes. The other day I cycled for an hour in the sunshine and saw ducks, geese, rabbits, herons, squirrels, a lizard, some magnificent bird of prey and only three other human beings.

It all sounds exhausting I realise, but I actually feel more awake than ever. I have lists of ideas I want to pursue, things I want to write, events I want to host. There was one particular idea I’d been sitting on for several months and a couple of weeks ago I got fed up of seeing it on my ‘To Do’ list so I pitched it to someone, found a collaborator, who by chance had had a similar idea herself, and now we are hosting our first event in August (details to follow!). I’m awake to everything, and everything seems really inspiring so I’m drinking it all in, from Janet Mock’s book (I had a lovely Twitter exchange with her) and every Laverne Cox speech and interview, to Katie’s terrific input into my novel, the degree show at the MMU Art School, the new people I’m working with, new bands, old Beatles’ demos, Tom Moulton remixes, (sadly) Goffey and King songs and the great outdoors. Phew.

Watching Inside Llewyn Davis recently, which is beautiful and funny and still on my mind a week later, I felt the unique sadness and frustration of missing your moment. (Spoiler follows). As Llewyn climbs the nightclub stairs to receive a kicking in the alleyway out back, a young Bob Dylan is taking Llewyn’s place on the stage, about to become the new folk sensation that Llewyn will never be. It hits pretty hard. The moral of the story is: don’t miss your moment.

A London marathon

There’s nothing like going to London and overdoing it. On Friday night I put my second Off The Hook party on at Vogue Fabrics. It was a busier affair than my first party there, and a whole different crowd too I think, but just as much into the music, if not more so. Song of the night was ‘Overdose’ by Ciara. Very apt… I can not / will not leave that tune alone right now. I aim to move RnB away from ‘guilty pleasure’ to just ‘pleasure’ with this party. So many brilliant songs to play. I had a great guest DJ this time around in the shape of Mr Sina Sparrow who runs a terrific Bethnal Green party called Debbie. I’ve been a fan of Sina’s illustrations for ages. It was lovely to meet him in real life at last (and now I’m off to see him for coffee in Chorlton..!). You should check out his work here.

Saturday morning never happened. Instead we drag ourselves out of bed third thing in the afternoon to face a gorgeous sunny Clerkenwell day and take restoratives at Workshop Café. I recommend this place endlessly. Gorgeous coffee / staff and a beautiful living wall in the back. Try the corn fritters and whatever’s on the aeropress, it never fails. Next comes a chance meet-up with dear Anna at the Coach and Horses in Soho and her lovely friend Derek who is currently living in a converted school near Hyde Park and paying a pittance for it. I just adore London stories like this, the lucky devil. I Facebook a photograph of us from inside the pub and my friend of twenty-something-years Andrew, a West-end Wendy, currently working on what he refers to as ‘The Irish play’ (The Commitments, ha-ha!) only goes and recognises the pub from my photograph and nips out of the theatre to come and find me and say hello. Pints of Hopspur and a five quid (!!!!) cake in the patisserie next door then it’s back to Dalston for Long Island Iced Teas and Korean food and onto to Debbie at the amazing Resistance Gallery where I immediately run into a succession of friendly Manchester faces. By this point Oisín and I have all but lost our speaking voices. We manage an hour of dancing before we have to call it a night. It’s a great party and you should get it on your list, stat.

Sunday is another glorious day so we head to Potters Field Park for a street food festival with live music, both of which turn out to be great. Venezuelan wraps and South London rap and actual warm sunshine beating down on us. Oisín runs into a friendly face from his Limerick days thus proving that London is in fact a village of 200 people as suspected. From where we are we can hear the London Marathon runners passing over Tower Bridge and the crowd cheering them on. We head over to the bridge to give our support and it’s so unexpectedly moving that the pair of us have a little spontaneous cry. We see the oldest runner in the race pass by, followed by a wheelchair user, powering away with his incredible shoulders, and a guy dressed as a tiger, and we’re off again blubbing. I am re-inspired to do my own modest bit for charity, and if you’d like to help me raise funds for the Neo-natal Unit at St Mary’s, you can do so here! We walk down the north side of Thames, which I’ve never done before, occasionally crossing paths with the runners, the cheers and whistles floating in and out of our ears with the breeze off the Thames. London is truly magic on days like this. We meet up with Ted who takes us to the rooftop of ONE NEW CHANGE which is a grim glass shopping mall but the rooftop allows you to look eye to eye with St Paul’s and is breathtaking. I am singing ‘Feed The Birds’ of course and getting teary-eyed. We sink a rum and coke in the sun and it’s time to head home to Manchester. We don’t want to leave of course, but we are back in just a few days for this, so hurrah! See you soon London…

Pride: afterthoughts

I thought this year I’d wait until the dust settled. It seems it’s very important in Manchester to have an opinion about the annual Gay Pride festival, or at least to tell everyone about it on Facebook. If you run a gay night or two, like I do, some people want to perceive you as some kind of spokesperson. I’m not, but I was needled several times to say something scandalous in the direction of Manchester Pride. I don’t have it in me. I think it boils down to this: Pride as a party, or Pride as a protest/political consciousness raiser? Doing both isn’t really working. At least not for me.

Don’t get me wrong, we need big gay cultural happenings, and we have them: Homotopia, Queer Up North, Duckie at Southbank, Queer Contact... These sorts of events are by and for LGBT people and have been brilliant over the years. Go and find out. Buy tickets. Support them. But spending bundles of pink pounds to hire The Feeling and a reformed Sugababes under a banner of ‘Gay Pride’? How exactly does it ‘celebrate LGBT life’?  I’m not sure I get it. Or want it. If you must attend a Kate Nash concert, just go to one, like everyone else does. I go to gigs all year round, I don’t need Pride for that. I need Pride for something else.

We might be about to get marriage equality in the UK, but worldwide the net is closing in on gay people. It’s real and I am frightened by it. If you don’t have a global perspective about yourself as a gay person, the concept of perceiving yourself as a group at all – which is, after all, the essence of Pride –falters. Except that Pride itself isn’t the place to talk about this, and I wonder if it should be. I am pleased that Manchester Pride expanded its Fringe program to include smaller arts and cultural events, including, crucially, some that take place outside the ghetto. I am glad the Pride Board has a trans* individual on it. I am glad they erected a ‘To Russia With Love’ wall in the Village to show Mancunian’s support towards persecuted people in our twinned city of St Petersburg. I hope they leave it up beyond Pride, I’d like to see it myself. But why Russia now, and not Uganda any other year, or any one of the dozens of ex British colonies where we exported homophobia to in the first place, at any other Pride? It’s complicated, and I’m trying to dance here.

During Manchester Pride, only a paid wristband gets you access onto Canal Street, unless you live there, and even bar staff who work in the Village can’t see the big bands without paying. I put parties on for gay (and non-gay) people outside the Gay Village. I do it all year round and I do it over Pride too. You might think this is somehow divisive, luring punters away from the gay enclave. But sexuality has no postcode, and the Village itself has barely any club space anyway, while the bars during Pride weekend – it has to be said – are overcrowded, overpriced, riddled with bad beer and bad music. I moved away from Blackpool a long time ago to get away from that. It’s not for me.

This year, I’m part of a newly-formed and loose collective of promoters under the name Queer Alt. Manchester who hosted a roster of alternative and non-Village gay and queer events during Pride. If you think we’re cashing in; yes, we absolutely are. Every last one of us donated cash to charities, and paid our performers. As for Pride itself, I’m not sitting in judgement, it would be the height of hypocrisy. It was only a few years ago I went out on the Thursday of Pride, and with very few breaks, kept going one way or another until the Monday. Trust me, I wasn’t thinking about St Petersburg then.

Besides, I’m not sure what form a more politicised Pride would take anyway. For the most part I’m an armchair activist. The odd demonstration aside, I’m all about petitions, letters, angry Tweets, political discussions, charity donations, that kind of thing. Are you much different? But I would like another way to get to meet the community sometimes, one that didn’t involve booze. Especially now, when I feel so powerless to contribute to any kind of positive change in the world. I feel hopeless when I think about Uganda or Moscow, never mind Damascus or Cairo or Palestine. But this has happened to me before, and the way I got out of it? Reading Angela Davis and listening to Larry Kramer. Watching REDS. Reading about mass resistance and small victories. Watching TED lectures about community action and feminism. Watching ACT-UP videos on YouTube. Watching We Were Here. This is where something like Gay Pride should come in, to bolster that feeling of insurmountable human aggression and oppression, to tackle the apathy that inevitably follows. Watching Barclays Bank drive a truck down Deansgate decked out in this year’s designated Pride theme (‘The 1980s’) was never going to do that for me. And I really need it.

Drunk At Vogue: we are unified, we are together, we are One...

A few years ago I was resident at an 80s night at the now defunct Purple Pussycat. The venue was kind of raucous and fun. I’d gotten used to playing there and I wondered if I could pitch a night. I’d decided ‘Drunk At Vogue’ was the perfect name for a night the second I heard Carrie Bradshaw say it in Season 4 of ‘Sex and the City’. Also because of that show, and because it was one of my favourite songs as a kid, the now ubiquitous ‘Got To Be Real’ by Cheryl Lynn was the first song I put on the playlist. At the time, Horse Meat Disco threw intermittent parties at the Pussycat so I couldn’t pitch them a straight-up disco night. Instead I went for a ‘not dance music, just music for dancing’ vibe. The playlist was disco, 80s synth, vintage pop, electro, Italo. The idea was to treat dance tunes just like pop songs. Ronnie Dyson, Little Boots, Kid Creole, Chic, Eurythmics, Cristina… But the venue wasn’t into it, and the 80s night finished, and the venue closed down. Such is nightlife.

Soon after that I became resident at Off The Hook. After that night took a hiatus I decided to help resurrect it in a new venue, with a new vibe. It worked really well and we’re still going strong. Bolstered by that success I started yapping about Drunk At Vogue again. When I mentioned it to my friends Gary, Thom and James, they saw potential in it from the off. And not just musical potential either: videos, outfits, performance art, and a whole host of New York and Manchester references to play with. Suddenly there were four of us and the venue was obvious, Kraak; new home to Off The Hook, blank canvas, backstreet, away from the Village – but not too far – hard to find, sweaty.

You can spout all you like about what you want your night to be, but it doesn’t mean a thing until the place starts to fill. If it fills. What the punters play in their rooms before they show up, what they decide to wear, or not wear, the videos they post on your page the day before the party; these are all out of your hands, and they matter. Drunk At Vogue Party Number 1 filled up within the hour. The outfits were some of the best I’ve ever seen on a night out. Shoestring glamour and genderfuckery and fun and hot and funny. Larry Levan and Mai Tai and ‘The Boss’ and avante garde drag and Chris on the door in his underwear.

We threw a boat party on the Irwell this year. It was magic. Our ‘Gay Sex In The 70s Party’ for Pride weekend was our best night to date, and actually really emotional. We’ve set the bar pretty high for our first birthday. It’s on October 5th. Everyone is welcome. You might be surprised that something like this is happening here in Manchester. So come and see us. I’m never sure where all the amazing punters come from. But there they are. 

Legends is going to shut soon. We didn’t win that one. We have to invest elsewhere in the city. Manchester is changing faster than ever and it sometimes feels they like don’t want you to keep dancing, but you have to keep moving…

Manchester: In Residents … #16: Anthony

'I’ve lived in sunny Salford – handy for weed – and Didsbury Village –handy for cheese, but I’m happy right here for the time being, waking up of a morning and blowing the froth off my latte as I stare out over Stretford Arndale...'

What’s your name?

Anthony Scott Crank. People ask if my surname is a stage name, but come on, would anyone with any clout choose ‘Crank’? During my wilderness years on TV I often hoped my moniker would become something like Cockney rhyming slang, as in ‘I’m going for an Anthony Crank...’ Alas, it wasn’t to be…

What do you do?

I’m an Acting Coach at The Manchester School Of Acting. It’s a brilliant school that’s spawned the majority of the famous and uber-talented Northern faces that you see in film, TV and stage, all under the mentorship of the demi-god that is Mark Hudson. I spend the majority of my week grimacing and yelling out David Mamet quotes such as ‘Invent Nothing, Deny Nothing, Accept Everything!’ and ‘If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t fucking exist!’ at four hundred hungry students. It really is the best job in the world. I’m also just about to finish my first TV script ‘BEEF’. It’s a six part, very dark comedy drama about the lives of a group forty-something, sweaty hairy blokes living in London. It’s about masculinity, testosterone, friendship, priorities, depression, sex, drugs, and growing old disgracefully. I’m pretty damn chuffed with it so far.

Prior to this I have enjoyed – and endured – a myriad of unusual career choices. As an actor I’ve shown my waxed arse on Shameless a good few times, grappled Beverley Callard to the floor outside Bolton Town Hall on Corrie, and treaded many a Mancunian board in plays such as ‘The Rainbow Connection’, ‘Fetish Knights’ and ‘The Newspaper Boy’. I’ve written for an abundance of publications, mainly the lovely Attitude magazine, plus I DJ at all manner of shindigs, including the ubiquitous and always brilliant ‘Off TheHook’.

I spent 11 years in that London spouting crap on a regular basis as a TV presenter, most infamously for T4, MTV, and BBC Holiday, where I experienced everything from having my arse cheeks read by plastic-faced Celebrity Rumpologist Jackie Stallone, went on a week-long cycling holiday with Angela Rippon, and was made to sing the original ‘Pink Panther’ theme tune to a befuddled Beyoncé Knowles. And I got paid for it. And I got to share a dressing room with Steve Jones.

 Where do you live?

Old Trafford, slap bang between MUFC and the cricket ground. I’ve been back in Manchesterford four years now. I’ve lived in sunny Salford – handy for weed – and Didsbury Village –handy for cheese, but I’m happy right here for the time being, waking up of a morning and blowing the froth off my latte as I stare out over Stretford Arndale. I aspire to be a resident on Beech Road in the next couple of years though …

Tell us the story of how you ended up in Manchester.

I was born Scott Greenwood in Ashton-under-Lyne, but adopted out to Mr and Mrs Cranky within days of showing my face. I ended up in the arse-end of Warrington for my formative years. By the time I was sixteen the ‘Madchester’ scene had kicked off and I was determined to throw myself head-first into it, and I did. I remember stumbling across Afflecks back when it was the place to hang-out and getting a massive stiffy over 24” bell-flared loon pants from Go Vicinity, just like Tom from Inspiral Carpets used to wear. The first ever club I went to was the mighty Hacienda, on a Thursday night in 1991 – ‘Beautiful 2000’ – where I spent the majority of the evening open-gobbed at all the weird and wonderful people. I wore cream hemp dungarees and a ‘Candy Flip’ hair-do while my mate Alison got off with the singer from ‘World Of Twist’. 

I was instantly hooked. I spent every weekend getting the train up to Manc. I threw myself into the club scene with gusto, and I was lucky enough to experience some of the ground-breaking nights and clubs that put Manchester on the global scene. Most Excellent, Flesh, Space Funk and Manumission at bloody AXM bar were rocking the city, and before long I earned my pink stripes and stumbled across Manto Bar and Paradise Factory, came out the closet kicking and screaming, caused a lot of trouble, and moved to the beautiful city on a permanent basis. I stayed until 1997, then upped sticks to find fame and fortune in London for ten years. It was there, after a lot of ill-placed ventures, pissing money up the wall, and generally dribbling into the lap of June Sarpong every weekend on T4, that the shit hit the fan and I ended up going bankrupt for nearly 200k (before it was the done thing, thank you!). In 2008 I packed up my old kit bag and decided to move back to Manchester for good. I’ve never felt richer, more content and more proud to be from – and back in – Manchester ever since.

What’s great about this city?

It’s tough as old boots, and I like that a lot. It’s unpolished, inconsistent, messy and a hell of a lot of trouble. I truly believe that in the UK, Mancs as a whole are superior beings, hands down, no messing about. The creativity that oozes out of Manchester, especially from the arts/queer/music/media scenes, is original, and we stand head and shoulders above other UK cities. I love being in the company of other Mancunians, I feel like we’ve got that ‘thing’ that ‘The Sopranos’ have. Cheap rents on fancy flats is nice too, as are the free buses that run around the city.

What’s not so great?

Canal Street. I’m not one for banging on about ‘the good old days’ but it seems eternally stuck in 2001, which is so sad as it was once a pioneer in Manchester culture. It’s dated, dangerous (and not in a good way) and refuses to move forward in its ideology. Thank fuck for the Northern Quarter. Piccadilly Gardens is basically hangin’… And the constant rain. It makes me want to KILL.

Do you have a favourite Manchester building?

Granada TV. The old signage and that late 50’s style of architecture have always given me a fluttery tummy, it reminds me of being at school and hitting the city as a teenager for the first time. You can imagine the likes of Pat Phoenix swanning around the corridors with a Rothman in one hand, head to toe in mink, cursing like a navvy at anyone who got in her way. It’s such a shame that it will be pulled down in the next few years to make way for another fucking hotel…

Do you have a favourite Mancunian?

Caroline Aherne. I pine for the day she returns back to our screens. As a writer, creator, performer, comedienne, she’s given us so much. I’d go to shit if I met her, I really would.

What’s your favourite pub/bar/club/restaurant/park/venue?

On the rare occasions the sun show its face, I like to while away the hours in Castlefield Arena. Tib Street and Oldham Street – barring the pissheads outside Sachas Hotel – are frequent haunts for drinks, shopping and hanging out. If I’m feeling all la-di-da, and if I can get a table, Aumbry Restaurant in Prestwich is without a doubt the best place to eat in the city. I also love Earth Café, The Ox and Noble, Kraak, Didsbury Park, Bannatynes on Quay Street, Hula Bar and Tribeca.

What do you think is missing from Manchester?

Apart from decent agents for my acting students, I’d quite like a large park or green space of sorts somewhere in the city centre. Maybe they could bulldoze Canal Street to make way for it…?

If I was Mayor for a day I would …

Make Rowetta the Lady Mayoress.

Who else would you like to nominate to answer this questionnaire?

Jason Orange.

Anthony teaches at the Manchester School Of Acting.

Press

Club links:

Drunk At Vogue

Off The Hook

DAISY AGE // STREET TUFF // GHETTO FABULOUS

OFF THE HOOK

24.3.12

KRAAK, NORTHERN QUARTER, MANCHESTER

CHECK IT OUT

It’s An Off The Hook Christmas

Off The Hook is in its second year. We’re toddling! Or is it bogling? Either way it’s hard to believe we’ve been sweating it on the dancefloor all that time with our amazing posse of hipsters and drag queens and bears (oh my).

Our formula is dead simple: African-American pop for North of England homos and their homies. That basically means if it’s got a good beat then we’ll chuck it in: hip-hop, RnB, disco, reggae, daisy age, dance energy, guilty pleasures, you name it.

Our heroes are Michael Jackson and OutKast and Prince and Flava Flav and Stevie Wonder and Eric B and Rakim and Jay Z and Wu Tang and Billy Ocean. Our Soul Mammas are Neneh Cherry and Queen Latifah and Janet and Salt N Pepa and Beyonce and Roxanne Shante and Aaliyah and Mariah and Amerie and Cookie Crew and Jamelia and Rihanna (we like our girls…)

We encourage: dressing up, bringing it, copping off.

We discourage: being cool, laying low, pale imitations.

So Christmas music is basically toilet, yes? WRONG. Everyone plays the same Yuletide crap year after year while the gems lie forgotten like broken Christmas lights at the bottom of the box. Well here's a bunch of sparkly Christmas tunes to restore your faith in that end of year groove. We couldn’t let the end of year slip by without a good list could we?

Get your full firm festive asses down to our Off The Hook Xmas Party and you can shake it to all of these and more. Our spesh guests star DJs this time are Matt Rothery and Dave Dobson, aka Wasp Nest. Check out the amazing mix they made for us right here.

... and then there's this....