You can probably tell from my output that my
pursuits are pretty varied – this blog, that blog, Off The Hook, Drunk At Vogue, The Queer Forum, writing,
and the rest of my freelance
work which I love and which pays the rent. The number of things I have on the
go at any one time is a bit dizzying, and there are a few reasons for that: I’m interested in
lots of things. Too many things really. I’m trying to find out what I’m good at
and I want to be good at everything. I don’t want to miss out on anything.
When I turned 30 I’d been working in an office
for eight years, in a profession I enjoyed but which I knew by that point didn’t
entirely suit me. I applied for lots of jobs in London that I didn’t get, and I
started to panic a bit. I decided if I was going to stay in my job then I
needed something outside of it to keep me going, so I set myself little tasks,
the first of which was to start a blog, this blog, which I
started in April 2008. I had no readers of course, and not always much of an idea what to write
about but I immediately felt better about things. Later that year I was invited to play my
first DJ gig, and so that became the second thing on my informal list of 'things to try'.
As time went on I added things to the list in
order to push myself, to stay inspired, to find my limits and to fight
complacency and boredom. I’ve done some big things that were never on the
list, like becoming a freelancer, which brings ambitions and aims all of its
own. After
six months of freelancing I felt great, even if money was difficult in my tricky
start-up year. Soon after that I reached my half-life anniversary in Manchester
and took the opportunity to take
stock.
I’ve been freelancing for a year now and it’s
been a challenge and an adventure, but the list of ‘things to try’ still exists,
needling me to get on with it. That’s
what I’m going to do. I have formalised the list as ‘The Projects’, and as with my New
Year’s Resolutions, if I go public with something I feel twice as motivated to
get it done.
Here are all eleven of ‘The Projects’ as they currently stand, with little summaries for the ones I have achieved. I am genuinely
holding myself to these and I am not adding anything new until this lot is
done, or at least attempted. Something amazing might come out of this, or nothing at all, but the
feeling of having tried is really the best
feeling.
1.
Start a
blog
Blogs were everywhere in 2008 but were becoming
a bit passé so I didn’t think I would stick with this thing for long, but seven
years later, here we are. I’ve met some of Manchester’s
finest people through writing this blog, people who I would otherwise have
no reason or nerve to talk to. I’ve had 270,000 page visits to date, messages
from around the world, a few hundred quid made, free tickets for wonderful
events when I couldn’t afford them myself, but mainly a bit of dialogue with
the world, which is what I have always wanted.
2.
Be a DJ
Being a DJ was somebody else’s idea for me to begin
with but once I start something I
have to see it through, and DJing proved to be the perfect activity for
someone like me, who likes a party but is also shy. I love it. DJ culture I can do
without and I’m not really a part of that. It’s a bit macho and competitive for
me. People will always use music to be cool, no matter what age they are. I
think people are sometimes surprised that I’m a DJ because of how uncool I
am and I’m glad! I wanted to be good at it though and I’ve really tried. I’ve
been profiled in the Manchester Evening News and Attitude, I’ve played at Festival
No. 6, Manchester International Festival, HomoElectric, GAZE Film Festival, Northern
Quarter Festival, Homotopia, Vogue Fabrics, Islington Mill, Clique, Bollox and
more. I’ve never played a recorded set in my life and I never would. Club promotion
itself I can do without, and if it wasn’t for the chore of that I would be
DJing much more often. I’ve had so many special moments DJing that I think only
other DJs would understand. Even if I stopped tomorrow, those would be the
moments that made me feel like I really did it.
3.
Start a
clubnight
The first Off
The Hook at Kitsch was one of my favourite ever nights out in Manchester, and
the only Off The Hook that I didn’t DJ at. I was a resident from the second
party onwards and I took over the night when the original promoters had shelved
it. I gave it a re-brand and a new venue and a year later it won the City Life
award for ‘Best Gay Night’. If I’d been kind to myself I could’ve ticked this
one off the list then and there but I wanted my very own baby. Enter Drunk At Vogue. I’d
daydreamed about the night for a couple of years, had even pitched it
somewhere and had it knocked back, and then shelved it. It eventually came to
life as the collaboration you
see today. I have learned a lot from collaborating, that it’s very hard to
do, but that it has loads of benefits, that your baby will never ever turn out
like you think, but that you’ll love it anyway. Drunk
At Vogue started in November 2011. Then we had our first birthday, then a
few months later we threw the launch party for the Manchester International
Festival. I am very glad I didn’t tick number 2 off the list too soon.
4.
Get a Masters
I wasn’t done studying, I wanted to read more
books, I wanted to finish writing a novel, a proper one this time, with
supervision and a deadline, and I wanted to do something subversive and uncool
with the money I was making from DJing. So I did an MA. It had been on my list
way before these set of circumstances arrived, and to be honest I thought that
I would go and study Shakespeare at Masters Level. I had ducked out of that
very option when I was 21, despite getting my place at Manchester and my
funding from the Academy. Instead I went to the Writing School at MMU when I
was in my thirties and wrote a novel about Shakespearean culture. I got a Distinction
for it. I had my graduation party with my family and friends in the baking
sunshine on Albert Square at the MIF Pavilion. I was so happy. I learned a lot.
I met great people and read some magnificent books. The course is good, go and
do it. Number 4, you are done.
5.
Get
paid to write
A hundred years ago I filed some album reviews
for The Big Issue the week before they
laid off most of their Northern freelancers and disappeared off down south. The
cheque I got for that work (£36 if I recall) was the most satisfying money I‘d ever
earned. I got the bug but my timing was terrible and it took me a long while to
get back here. Being paid to write, in an era where anyone with a keyboard is a
writer, is validation,
for better or worse. Writing is a profession that people not only invite
you to do for free, but often expect it, in some cases demand it. I have had dozens
of people over the years discover my blog and approach me to write for them.
Often when I enquire about a fee they become unpleasant. Often I am told
that I will be paid in 'exposure' for my blog. ‘But you found me,’ I always say to them. ‘I am exposed.’ I never write for those
people. If somebody gives you a fee it is professional, respectful, honest, and
yes, it's validation, and it’s a validation that comes tenfold when it is the thing
you love doing most. Don’t take your writers for granted, and writers:
try not to work for free.
6.
Write a
novel
This is the one... I have written a very short and very bad novella
about a temp who wins the Lottery and goes on an insane odyssey with the girl
who lives downstairs. I have written a longer and slightly better novel about
five gay men whose lives intersect in a weird post-modern way around the lonely
vacuous world of Canal Street and a desolate Manchester city centre. I have written
a longer and much better novel about digging up Shakespeare’s bones and the
effect it has on a world obsessed with him. Trying to write a novel is one of the
great sorrows and frustrations of my life. I can’t explain why I even like it. Every
other activity in the world disrupts and distracts from fiction. So many good
ideas and great lines vanish into the ether if you aren’t able to give them
your full attention. Being a novelist is time-consuming and tiring and
wonderful. It deserves my full attention. My novel needs a damn good third
draft and my intention is to give it my all and let my other ambitions slide by
the wayside until this is done. I want it published. This Project should be
entitled, ‘Publish a novel’. This is the point at which a jack of all trades
has to try and be the master of one. Of all the things on The Projects list, if
I don’t see this novel through I will die disappointed in myself. Do you hear me?
7.
Try
stand-up comedy
This is where it gets scary. And this is as far
as I’ve got with the list. Kind of five-and-a-half down, five-and-a-half to go
I suppose. None of these are pipe dreams though. I have already signed up to workshop some stand-up material this coming Saturday. I have never done anything like this
before. I think I am a bit funny, and I have done lots of public speaking, but
the two have rarely crossed paths. But I love stand up and I am going to try it
for myself. I’m terrified. What am I doing? Stay tuned.
And here is the rest of the list. So no biggies,
huh…?
8.
Write and stage a
play
9.
Curate
an exhibition
10.
Be an
artist
11.
Find
some work outside Manchester
See you on the other side...
