Crap things about Manchester
The buses: ‘You wait for ages and three come along at once’ is the least of your worries; how about they’re full of spliff smoke at eight in the morning, the driver talks to you like you’ve taken a crap in his till, pituitary cases are playing dubstep on their phones so loud that you can’t think … Taxi!
The vomit: ‘Ooh look, pink rice. Where did they order that from I wonder?’
Market Street: Perennial unfavourite. Where are you meant to walk exactly?
Street aggro: Yeah I AM looking at you, otherwise I’ll walk into you, won’t I?
It’s small: You’re just guaranteed to run into somebody you don’t wanna see when you’re at your absolute worst …
Great things about Manchester
Architecture: The Palace Hotel at night, Beetham Tower in the sun, red-brick terraces, Hulme Arch, London Road Fire Station, John Rylands library …
Sackville Park: The sun’s out, go to Olive, stock up on deli treats and Magners, sit in the park with your mates and imbibe the sweet afternoons away …
Spring onion fritters at Ho’s Bakery: They’re sweet, they’re salty, they kill hangovers in a single bite! Go Ho’s!
The boys: Out comes the sun and out too come those beautiful boys. Where are they hiding the rest of the year?
It’s small: You’re just guaranteed to run into somebody you know when you feel like a party …
Soundtrack: Urban Theory ‘Electroklash’ compilation which I bought aeons ago and rarely played. I’ve discovered the Royksopp mix of ‘Please Stay’ by Mekon featuring Marc Almond is the absolute shit. Repeat repeat repeat …
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